Stand Inside Your Love

The title reference of this blog is a song by the Smashing Pumpkins--a secular rock band that I just find awesome. This particular song is the best song by them that I have heard. I did a little analysis of it and thought I'd post a few of my comments from it.

On another level, it (the song) begs the question in my head--why doesn't one want to stand inside my love? I seldom let my mind explore this question as the first time I did this, it ruined the song for me as well as cast a huge shadow of doubt upon myself. It is a general question that plagues me daily--sometimes more than others, but a question that I continually try and turn over to God and let things be. I do my part, and pray for the rest. I cannot force another to love, much like God cannot force us to love Him. It wouldn't be a pure love--it would be a robotic, pre-programmed love that has no meaning. But to freely give of your love to another and to "stand inside" that love--how amazing is that!?!?! While I admit, I have had love for another; I don't know that I've actually stood inside that love. I stand within God's love daily and absolutely adore it; being continually showered by His grace, wisdom and so much more. How great a day it'll be when I can do the same with another; together--side by side; inside each other's love within Gods perfect love being surrounded and carrying us to places inside ourselves not able to journey alone!

Such a joy to find meaning in music--especially music not expressly written for God; but perhaps, all music is done in His name--but in ways just not fully understood or comprehended by those who write it, perform it, or even listen to it? Ummm....

Marriage and Relationships

This topic has been on my mind in a myrid of ways--both of them actually; but my focus here is on marriage. I've never been married; I've always thought I would be married--in fact, I perceived myself married by age 30; but that hasn't happened. It's been a "goal" in life--but I've never rushed it. My thoughts of late draw upon the "if" it'll ever happen. I have several friends that are in their 40's, single--never married; and that's great. I have several friends younger than I that are married--and that's great too. For me--this is serious, and I take it serious as I will only get one chance at this--for personal choice--in a world where 50% of marriages end in divorce, I am not going to be in that statistic; so I really evaluate my relationships that I'm in to determine (in some fashion or another) if this is whom I'll spend my life with.

Being 32 and single, some would speculate that perhaps it's not God's plan for me to wed. Well, my rebuttle to that is Genesis 2:24. There's another passage too, but I cannot pinpoint it--but it basically states that we were created for relationships--both marital and non. The non-marital category is a topic in itself; perhaps another day. So why am I still a bachelor?

Part of that answer stems from the fact that the majority of my "dating" years were spent looking for the wrong thing in women. Sure, they filled a void--but because they were human, that void quickly became empty and I went searching for the filler again. Until 4 years ago, I never completely filled that void--and to this day, the reason why is that it wasn't a void for a woman to fill. Jesus entered my life--and I accepted--and this void is now filled. With that being said--I've still have 4 years of "failure" in the "spouse race." Perhaps failure is too strong a word, but no less, I'm still seeking. Some relationships were ended by myself for reasons that didn't point to a future together; the remaining were ended by the other for reasons I'm not 100% sure on. So, being the seeker--I've looked to others for reflections of myself as well as inwards too. I've also prayed and really tried to keep my focus on Him, because through Him, she will be presented. But I still have to do my part.

In an attempt to better understand my part, I've signed up for this relationship class offered by WHC. It's a short class--just 4 weeks, but even after the first week and reading a fragment of the book for the class--wowzers; there's just so much I didn't realize--at least concretely. I'm sure I'll comment on that more; but geesh--it brings to question, do I even want to try?

The over-riding answer is "duh, of course." Genesis 2:24--remember; plus it's somehow innately built into me. After reading what little I've read on this subject--I'm appalled at those I know that successfully remained married--congratulations to you all!!! What a joy--and much continued work too. Jeepers. (hand clap to y'all; high 5! yea!)

Through my experiences, I have learned much about myself--amen to that as I'm not anything close to perfect; but so far from it, it's hard to even see myself as attractive--but I try. I'm no supermodel--and that's fine with me. I seek the inner being of her (helps if the outer is present too--honesty here); but there is just so much more. It's a challenge I'm up for because in His glory, her and I will be able to follow Him in unison--participating in His world and attempting to bring about His kingdom together. It'll be a mountain to climb I'm sure, but a ho-hum life without living up to His challenges just isn't me (nor should it be for any of us).

Sit

Thanks to all for your prayers and condolences concerning Jack--I am still sad about it, but God is with me and I am surviving. Oreo has been giving me much attention--and it's been quite a pleasure. I was originally going to write about something else tonight, but the Holy Spirit moved in my thoughts and I'm going to write about God for once, beginning with some lines from a book that struck me well.

Christianity doesn't begin with walking, it begins with sitting.

...sit down and enjoy what God has done for us--not to set out to try and attain it for ourselves.

We did nothing whatever to save ourselves; we simply laid upon Him the burden of our sin-sick souls.

Adam began his life with the sabbath; for God works before He rests, while man must first enter into God's rest, and then alone can He work.

I receive everything not by walking, but by sitting down; not by doing, but by resting in the Lord.

Hence, just as there is no need to wait for the initial experience of salvation, so there is no need to wait for the Spirit's outpouring. Let me assure you that you need not plead with God for this gift, nor agonize, or hold "tarrying meetings." It is yours not because of your doing, but because of the exaltation of Christ, "in whom, having also believed, ye were sealed with the Holy Spirit of promise." This, no less than the forgiveness of sins, is contained in "the gospel of your salvation."

The secret of deliverance from sin is not to do something, but to rest on what God has done.

...to sit down is simply to rest our whole weight--our load, ourselves, our future, everything--upon the Lord. We let Him bear the responsibility and cease to carry it ourselves.

A meditation to explore: after reading Ephesians in conjunction with the "Sit Walk Stand" book, I came up with a mediation that really worked well for me; and it's similar to the analogy given in the book as well as the last quotation above. The passage I read was Ephesians 1 because I needed some support on who I am--I don't frequently question my position in Christ, but there are moments when I'm anxious or doubtful, and this process really eradicated those negative thoughts from my head.

Find yourself a chair you are most comfortable in. Bring your bible and sit in the chair and read Eph. 1. Don't just scan the chapter--but take in the words; take in the truth as it's written. While it's written to the Ephesians, replace that with you. It's written for you. After reading the chapter--just sit and capture those words. After a bit of time, re-read the chapter. What happens for you?

As I did this and let myself get involved in the words and my imagination, the chair disappeared and in its place, God's chest became the backrest, His legs--the cushion, and the arm rests were His arms holding the bible for me. It brings to memory the times I read books to my nephews, how they will sit upon my lap and just listen to the story--they trust in me as they sit upon my legs; and they are happy and content. The burdens I face melt away and my position in Christ, sitting upon the lap of God, is renewed.