Jack

Jack and Oreo sleeping on the couch

With many thoughts streaming through my head--it's hard to focus on just one, other than my Lord; but one topic that continues to plague me is about my cat Jack. I've had Jack since he was a little kitten--he's about 8 now, and he's just a cute lil' bugger. I named him Jack because it's short for blackjack, and he's all black with three little white hairs on his neck.

Sitting at home with him, he'll snuggle in next to my lap, or if I'm laying down on the couch, he'll lay across my chest, thumping his tail in joy and happiness. Sometimes, he'll just stand there looking at me through his large black eyes trimmed out in orange gold. Other times, he spooks me because when the lighting is just right, all you can see is the glow of his beautiful eyes while his body is mascaraded by the darkness. He's got a strong but silent purr and he'll even talk a bit now and then.

But I'm plagued by his health. Up until about 5 months ago, he was in fine health. He's probably the first cat I've had that hasn't been overweight--pretty much right at his optimal weight for his size. Prior to his health degrading, I would find some of his affection annoying--like jumping onto my neck while I'm sitting at the computer. As his health degraded, that stopped, and he jumped to my lap instead--now days, he lifts a quiet paw to touch my leg letting me know he wants up.

I started noticing something not quite right with Jack. He started not doing things he normally did; and as his health degraded, he began walking as if he was drunk. Sidestepping, stumbling and even falling at times. Just yesterday as I was reading a book, he fell off the kitchen table--the poor guy. I've taken him to my trusted vet for diagnostics and they tested him for all that I could afford but came up with nada. The best guess is that he has some sort of neorological problem, but without a cat scan (ironic term) and/or MRI and xray, there's no way to tell for sure. While I treat my pets as my kids, there are limits to how much I can spend. He is a precious little guy, and my heart sinks every time I hear a thud.

I worry about the next time he falls--perhaps injuring himself. I struggle with the thought that I'll have to put him down some day as his actions are just so saddening. He doesn't appear to be in pain--but of late, he'll even squeek out a meager groan indicating that it's not getting better. I help him up and down to the couch, and I'm thankful he's still able to feed and poo himself in the appropriate places. I've had to put down another cat in the recent years--and while I only had him for 6 months, his health consumed him (he was a stray), and could no longer perform the actual duties required of sustaining life; I had him "put to sleep", and while I was all prepared to do so--I still broke down irrevicably shedding tears upon tears--and that was after a six month attachment.

I pray every day for a miraculous healing from God, and every day, Jack still continues to struggle. My heart saddens for him because I don't have any other means to "cure" him. My prayers now include that God heal him or bring him home, because I don't know if I'll be able to send him there myself.